According to practitioners of traditional Chinese medicine (TCM), acupuncture has a myriad of useful applications. It not only relieves pain by painfully pricking a person with needles, but it can repair every ailment and disorder imaginable, from hair loss to infertility to flatulence, as well as recently invented ones, such as restless leg syndrome. One of the newest applications is the acupuncture facelift, which is a less expensive version of the traditional facelift where skillful reconstructive surgeons reshape your bank account.

Like other TCM’s, acupuncture is based on reliable, time-tested ancient Chinese wisdom, like the practice of protecting buildings and …